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(no subject) [Dec. 4th, 2006|08:36 pm]

everybody is doing it...
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Alternate times [Sep. 28th, 2006|06:41 pm]
RAWR... because of my second job.. i can't make it thursday nights... please somebody tell me they re run the episode on sudays or something like that. If anyone knows please tell me... or if they where.. um *cough* i can get the *cough* recordings online... PLEASE....
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(no subject) [Oct. 20th, 2005|12:52 am]
AAAWWWWW shit, McChris is coming to town, AKA McPeePants... If you don't watch adult swim this means nothing to you and i'm so sorry you are missing out on some comic action. But McChris is what one might call geek rap. He is playing at RockIsland next Wed. Night if anyone is interested in coming just jump in my general direction. He is to funny to pass up... should be an interesting show to say the least... :)

The tussin the tussin....
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(no subject) [Oct. 6th, 2005|08:45 pm]

stolen from maneofcrimson


001. Joel
002. Remy
003. He-Man (Way to go for me opening my big mouth for a holloween costume)

001. CreeSekMet
002. Lagotham
003. Cardano96

001. Hair
002. Thighs
003. Eyes

001. Stomach
002. Spine (for all you don't know accidents and football has done a number on it)
003. feet

001. Europe (yes i'm a mutt)
002. Chawktaw (hopefully its spell right)

001. Spiders
002. Being alone
003. not living to my potential

001. Food
002. Workout
003. *devil grin*

001. Shorts
002. ...
003. ...

001. Bella Morte
002. rhazed in black
003. shine down

001. Fallback-Spineshank
002. Endless night- bella morte
003. Stricken- Disturbed

001. Faithfulness
002. Sex
003. Understanding

TWO TRUTHS & A LIE [in no particular order]:

001. Legs
002. eyes
003. skin

001. Photography
002. Training
003. Sky Diving

001. Hold someone
002. Find a place to live
003. Sex

001. Fire Fighter
002. Photographer
003. *crosses fingers*  Hopefully the Colorado Crush... tryouts the end of this month

001. Japan
002. Russia
003. Anywhere with something exciting

001. Kriss
002. Remy
003. Trent

001. Have a wild adventure
002. Change someones life
003. I'll save this one for a later date

001. I like lifting
002. Can be controlled by different parts of my anatomy
003. Want to be a hero

001. Can let emotions run wild at times
002. (someone else should fill in these for me)

001. Jessica alba (of course)
002. Mia Jovakavich
003. Does clark kent count????


wow been a while since i did one of those... enjoy people

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The kindness of people... [Aug. 30th, 2005|09:54 pm]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |"Cold" Crossfade]

So I haven't posted in a while, and if any of you read this you will fucking love this one... Just as of yesterday, thousands to a million people lost their homes, hundreds are dead, and the toll is rising at an alarming rate, a city full of history and tradition just might be destroyed... Situations like this have the ability to bring the best out in man,But situations like this, prove to me more how fucking self involved, and how un-carring people in our fucking world are. Tragedy strikes in south asia last year, and who are the first people there to help, who are the first people to send the aid to help so thousands survive. The USA, everyone is entitled to their oppinion but no other country on this planet did and contributed as much as we did. And yet we are the fucking selfish evil USA. Fine... Now tragedy strikes here, and anyone cares to help??? hey Germany??? France??? and your fucking perfect system, and your over all caring for the people of this world, where might you be??? oh yeah sitting back the day after such an event and writing in your papers how this tragedy is all the works of George W. Bush, because of his Enviromental stand. Oh yeah I forgot Bush is so fucking almighty now, that he can controll the fucking weather, and he is using it for his evil fucking plan. Even Drunken Ted Kennedy has jump on this almighty band wagon and blamed Bush, saying this Storm is because of his hand in causing global warming. This whole fucking issue is fucking absurd if you ask me. 35 years ago we were so scared of global cooling, oh but all that has changed, we know what the fuck is happeining now, and its all our fucking fault. Oh but maybe it should be more than global warming, maybe is should be solar warming, and its all our fault, since the tempature of Mars is rising at the same rate as the earth. Oh but that doesn't matter. Or it doesn't matter that we have been slipping out of the current ice age for the past 3-4 thousand years. But all the facts are inconclusive so that must mean its our fault.
Then the fucking editors at the NYTimes decide to write saying that this whole situation is a self inflicted wound. That we knew this could happen to New Orleans and yet nothing was done to create a full proof system. *claps hands* (way to go NYTimes way to kick people when they are down) Well fuck California could fall off into the ocean and LasVegas could be beach front property, but hey we better find a solution to that as well, cause if we don't its our fault.
Jesus fucking christ all this has got me so fucking sick... There are people dying, bodies floating in these flooded waters. An entire fucking city may have lost everything, and we have the Gaul to sit back and get all political. You know we have the next fucking year or ten to point fingers and say well what if, and debate the reasons behind it all, but now people need help and people are dying, families are torn, scared and lost. And Drunk murderers like Ted Kennedy sit back on their golden barstools and try to turn a fucking tragedy into a three ring circus. If he ever gets with in arms reach of me i will probably rip his fucking throat out. For christ sakes people i could care less what you believe, or who you secrectly hold to blame for the tragedies of the world, but this is fucking disgusting and truly shows how fucked up we are and how careless some of man can be. The more and more i see the more and more hypocrital i see people become. So fuck Kennedy, Germany, france, the NYTimes and anyother hypocritcal person or faction who is more intrested in their image and their agendas than any kind of moral value. Oh wait, they are all truly moral and good... LICK MY FUCKING BALL SACK, and if you are angry or upset at what I say or believe, come here and i have somthing to stick in your ass, that should give you a truly good reason to not like me...
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(no subject) [Feb. 24th, 2005|12:27 am]
[mood |apatheticBlack and cold]
[music |"smothered" spineshank]

so its been awhile, yeha i know, i guess this just isnt the same as pen and paper, maybe cause i get alot more out in such old fashion ways, but then again i don't think i have opened my real journal in a month as well, which i guess is more than weired... I suspect i have to much to say, or nothing to say... Which makes some sense to me and i don't know how that fits with everyone else out there... I guess when it all comes down to it I am searching for something, and yet i am not exactly sure what, or really i am not admiting it... I guess this has just been hard, the past two weeks or so has been a personal hell and yet not a soul really knows... There have been days that i have truly felt taht life can not get much worse, and in fact i will still agree... What is friendship??? i guess i would say it is a personal bond that one has with another human being if that really means dick... these relationships we abandon and forget about,and renew damn there everyday of our lives, yet some things i guess jsut make such relationships more... We define the making of such friendships deep parts of our own souls... to make a bond that can never be forgotten, yet always broken is rare... Yet it is the bonds that can make us feel so much less than anything that we have ever felt... When friends turn, or change, or you yourself changes. but then again we are always changing, adjusting, adapting... or maybe we just let ourselves change to move on, maybe we can never really bond, cause we know that such bonds really will only bring pain... I'm sure that we all know this feeling, with love, when you connect on such a deep level, you will never exprience any pain like this... But anyways off of love an back to friendships... When these end in tragic situations you question what you could have done, if anything, but in the end you knwo youcould have done more, you could have been that person, which they were to you, and if htey were not that much, it ussually dosn't affect you right??? I guess that i will go on, truly pretending that things are ok, when i really know that thing haven't been ok for a long time i guess. haha, when i really think about it, do i really believe in friendship and anyting beyond, or is this all a ploy to try and entice me to something more, to make me believe that there is more to what i see, or let myself believe??? But then again, does it really matter, cause all we end up is food for the worms, so should we let such things affect us??? Fuck this, i'm sick of this, and for all of you that thave no clue what is going on, i'm sure you haven't even got this far, so fuck off...
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(no subject) [Feb. 6th, 2005|02:15 am]
[mood |discontentDepressed]

I hate this... i just wanna scream...
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one, two, tick, tock, no more time in this old clock... [Jan. 21st, 2005|09:42 pm]
[mood |indifferentindifferent]
[music |"The Rain Within Her Hands" Bella Morte]

What if you slipped into a dream? And you never awoke from that dream?  What would then convince you that the dream is not reality?  Would you then start to believe?  Would you live your dream as life?  But what if that dream turned into a nightmare?  What if it was a nightmare from wich you could not awake?  Would you still believe it was just a dream?  What if you convinced yourself it was jsut  a dream?  What if you convinced yourself it was just a dream, but realized that you had awoken ages ago, and this was no nightmare, this was no dream, this was reality?  What if this life was your nightmare, could you, would you awake???


I've read back recently on many of the weak ass rants i've given, distracted by TV or work, or who's knows what, but they just seem to be there.  Life has been a rollor coaster recently, very few know or understand this...  I try no to dwell on situations, and i try not to let alot of things affect me.  But when you bury emotions, and try to hide things, they have a way of working themselves out, in many different ways, few good, many bad.  Thus these are things that we have to deal with.  I wish there was a stone or a machine, or some magic that would allow me to freeze time, and at times replay what is happeing, analyze the choices i make, but alas, this is not the case.  We move on, some of us run full speed with no fear, and other creeep along at a slow pace, warry of each step for fear of what can happen.  I on the other hand, am a strange mix of the two, and many people may say that, but at times i am truly the extreme of both, i am so reckless, and carefree, but i can be the biggest worrier in the world.  I try to not let things affect me in such ways, but i am not perfect as much as i like to think i am, or pretend i am, or something like that. =)  But life is good, life is frustrating, life is hard, i know things will be ok, but its just holding faith in things that can be so hard to see.  I want a mirror to show me how somethings will end, or won't end, or just plain suck...
    I guess what makes things hard is i feel so helpless sometimes, and gabz will shoot me for saying it, but its true.  I feel so far away from her, and i worry, as much as i shouldn't, but i do. its just hard at times. with a girl as beautiful as she is, and lovable, i just worry, cause i know guys...  I trust her, so much, but it doesn't change teh fact that i worry... I guess it goes along with somethign i was told along time ago, if you don't get jealouse or worry then its not love, and its not worth fighting for.  and we all need someting to fight for, if for anyting else but to keep life interesting....
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The cold wet steel of strength shall rust... [Jan. 18th, 2005|09:04 pm]
[mood |distressedAngry, sad, lonley, you pick]
[music |life]

You and me
Meant to be
It's destiny
Pure lunacy
But for the last time
You're everything that I want and ask for
You're all that I'd dreamed
Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love
Protected and the lover of
A pure soul and beautiful you
Don't understand
Don't feel me now
I will breathe
For the both of us
Travel the world
Traverse the skies
Your home is here
Within my heart
And for the first time
I feel as though I am reborn
In my mind
Recast as child and mystic sage
Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love
And for the first time
I'm telling you how much I need and bleed for
Your every move and waking sound
In my time
I'll wrap my wire around your heart and your mind
You're mine forever now
Who wouldn't be the one you love and live for
Who wouldn't stand inside your love and die for
Who wouldn't be the one you love

The irritation we're pretending not to show
Has replaced the motivation
That I had not long ago
I know that

I don't ever want to be the one
to make you forget it
to make you resent it
to make you repress it
I don't ever want to be

It's the beginning of the end
And I don't know where we lost control
It's the beginning of the end
And I know that I am all alone

Interrogation has replaced the trust we had
Your misguided accusations
Helping me to turn my back
I know that

I don't ever want to be the one
to make you divide it
to make you deny it
to make you deprive it
I don't ever want to be

I thought that we would find our way
I thought our life would be ok
I thought that you believed in me
But now it seems so far away

The life we knew before is gone
There is no compromising
The life you save will be your own
To find your inner senses

To the new day a sea whispers
The time of your life
As a silence falls onto our world
Mourn all those who spoke

Let us fade for the end knows an angel
Whose scars shan't stain
On the age-blackened walls hangs a portrait
Of our last words; goodbye my friend

Silver crosses hang about our hearts
In love of this death
The velvet ending falls onto our world
Gentle and soft

And when one weeps
For broken trust
The cold wet steel
Of strength shall rust
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(no subject) [Jan. 10th, 2005|10:25 pm]
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |"For an angel" Paul Van Dyke]

mwahaha, so i have found a whole new addiction, 24, I have seen bits and pieces of previous seasons, but, this fourth season is out of hand, 4 hours in two days and now i have to wait till next week, NO, NO, NO, its not fair... I will survive somehow, besides that i should be working on the comic right now, but i'm slacking, yes i know i shouldn't be, but hey you have to do what you ahve to do right... it'll get done here soon.

But tell me does anyone have any big plans for the new year???

Besides the basics of me trying to spoil my baby girl, i made a descision a month or so ago, most of you may know but if you don't here it is... I've decided to train my ass off for a year, and try out for the AFL (Arena Football league) I'm looking at a few teams to go to walk on tryouts, i think i may have a shot. I'm going to live the Fat linemans dream, and get off the line. I'm going to try out for fullback and linebacker... In the AFL you have to play both ways. I started out weighing about 205, my goal is to get somewhere around 235 or 240, but keep my speed. The average FB/LB in the AFL is like 260, but i'm hoping my speed and quickness combined with my streangth, and experience blocking on the line will give me a slight advantage. So its going to be long and tough, but i shall see, i say if i dont' try i will never know... i'm already up to about 215 right now, so i am on my way... don't worry i won't forget about all your peons when i'm rich and famous... ok ok, i'm kidding i will forget about you, ok ok, i'm just playing no one hurt me... hehe

Well some one asks for pics preferably nude ones in this post, and well, i haven't got those um developed yet... but maybe here soon... ;)

peace all,

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